I was complaining to God the other night that I didn't feel loved by him. Awhile back I read the book "Love Languages" and I think my language is quality time. I enjoy gifts and words of affirmation and physical touch but spending time with someone I care about is what really makes me feel cared for. I'm usually always conscious of God's presence so you would think I would always feel loved by Him but my preception of Him is often that He is there but He's just sitting there looking at me. Like the fish in the aquarium doesn't feel loved by the person on the other side of the glass.
Anyway, I've been having an email conversation with an atheist about evolution, and I was thinking about it yesterday, what I might say next, what the problems with the theory are. The thoughts were just coming to me and it hit me. I was spending quality time with God. He was there with me, and not just looking at me but interacting with me - it was him giving the thoughts I was having. That was Him showing me love, by spending time with me.
In the book "Captivating" the author talks about how women long to play an inportant role in something great but they want to do it with their man, not on their own. What I am doing in this conversation is evangelism - the whole point is to try to help the guy understand that the Bible is a reliable document so that I can share the gospel. That's an important task and I'm not doing it on my own - I am getting insight and discernment from God. We are doing this task of kingdom building together. That's love from God, I just didn't recognize it before.
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