His Wonders

Yesterday we were greeted with beautiful hoarfrost decorating every tree twig - a real treat - one of my favourite things about winter. Today we got about 6 inches of snow which made driving extra fun what with the spinning tires and fender benders. I managed to get out and around without any mishaps!

I've been sick all week with a cold. Not so bad I've had to miss work but enough that I've not been out walking - just don't have the energy.

I only have four more weeks at Canoe Club and then I'm off for March. I plan to do some visiting out of town and to hammer down on the the physical prep. That walk down to the perimeter and back must be accomplished by March 31!

I have been enjoying several weeks of close fellowship with the Lord. He has been impressing on me the need to accept myself for who I am. To serve Him in the way that He made me, not get hung up thinking I need to do things that I'm just not cut out for. Ever since I was a young girl I wanted the gift of evangelism. I've always wanted to be a good verbal witness for Jesus and always felt bad that I wasn't too good at it. I can see now that, although witnessing is something that all Christians can do to some degree or another, it is not my spritual gift and I don't need to beat myself up that I'm not strong in that area. I'm better at writing and I can be a witness for Jesus in that way. I still pray for God to give me opportunities to speak for Him. But I'm trying not to put so much pressure on myself in that.

One of the things I like best about Jesus is His ability to cure me of my hangups. I used to hate myself. I thought I was a mistake. Really. And now, after so many years of His ministrations to me I can truly say that I love myself. I can see now, finally, that He has given me a lovely personality and many gifts. He has crafted something beautiful and worthwhile in me and has freed me from my blindness to that. I'm so sorry that I ever despised His handiwork. God doesn't make junk - humans make junk and I made junk of myself for many years. I am so thankful that He has opened my eyes to His wonders in Creation - of the world and of me.

The Guts Declare the Glory of God

"In everything give thanks." This is a command I have not paid a lot of attention to but I'm thinking about it lately and obeying it more frequently these days. A thankful heart is a happy heart. It's soft and sensitive and easily led by the Holy Spirit. Unthankful hearts are hard and blind - they feel entitled to what they have yet also dissatisfied with it. It is wickedness on the part of us creatures to take God's manifold blessings in our lives for granted; to expect them as though they exist on their own rather than as things that depend on God's will.

For example: I have a perfectly designed, well-functioning digestive system. I have used it every day of my life and I don't think much about it. But it is a gift from God which He has given to me for now and which He can take away at any time. I'm noticing my internal systems these days and exressing thankfulness for them. Just by thinking about my own guts and viewing them as the gifts they are, I am more in awe of God's creative brilliance and His loving and generous nature.

I have overlooked this simple command most of my life and figured it didn't matter much. But this is God's will for me. My ability to discern God's will for me in matters that are not revealed (my life choices) depends on my decision to submit to Him and to obey in those which are revealed in His Word.

He Makes Me Want To

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

God's will for my life has not been revealed all at once as some grand plan but has come about through the shaping of my character and desires and the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

A few years ago I felt restless and bored with my job in student development at Booth College and wanted to try something new. Somehow I got the idea to get involved with Youth with a Mission (YWAM). I had some idea of that organization but not a lot. I don't even remember how I latched onto them in 2008 but I did. I wanted to go to a spanish speaking country as I had an interest in that language so I was all set to apply to a base in Columbia.

Then one night I went to the lounge where some students were watching a movie called "Bride & Prejudice". It's a bollywood-esque version of Jane Austen's famous book and I was so taken with the colours! It's a riot of song and dance and sumptuous Indian clothes. I had never before had an interest in going to India but after that night I wanted very much to go there. All my interest in going to Latin America evaporated, I applied to a base on the sub-continent and I ended up spending five months in that country.

I suppose a skeptic could understandably say that I just did what I wanted and they would be right. I went to India because I wanted to go there. But that is the beauty of God. He's brilliant actually. The easiest way to get people to do what you want is to make them want to do it too.

As a younng person I had this nasty idea that God didn't care about my happiness and that if I agreed to follow Him fully He would tell me to do things that I didn't want to do. But as I have spent time with Him, in prayer and in Bible reading and in worship, I have discovered that as I have delighted in Him, He has literally given me the desires of my heart. I didn't know that He wanted me in India so He gave me the desire to go there and then it was no problem for me to head off in that direction.

It is so cool for me to discover that God cares about my happiness and that He is working out His will in my life in ways that please me even though I don't always understand them at the time.

This is so TRUE!

"Cold Fact" by Dick Emmons

By the time he's suited
And scarved and booted
And mittened and capped
And zippered and snapped
And tucked and belted,
The snow has melted.

The Will of God for You

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you,” Philippians 3:12.

We have a natural tendency to look at our problems so God tells us to rejoice. Wallowing in gloom leaves us no room for the lightness of joy. But by focusing on His gracious provisions in our lives we find ourselves free from depression, bitterness and cynicism. Instead, we are able to see God’s blessings all around us and are thankful for them.

As we tend to be gloomy, so we tend to worry. Thus God commands us to pray continually. In our own strength the world is a scary place and life is hard. But in God’s strength we are secure and are provided with everything we need to please Him and be at peace. If we are continually bringing our problems to Him instead of stewing over them we are released from the heavy burden of those problems and are then free to rejoice in His sufficiency.

Our habit of worry leads us inevitably into complaining and so we are instructed to be thankful in all situations. By complaining we shrivel our spirits with bitterness, dissatisfaction and suspicion that we have been treated unfairly by God. But when we count our blessings, our spirits are lifted and encouraged with a deeper realization of His provision for us and we are spurred on to prayer confident that He can take care of our problems.

By making a habit of these three things we elevate our spirits and present God with minds that are prepared for His leading in every area of our lives.

Every Breath I Take I Take In You

Today I went to the "One Heart" multi-church service at the MTS Centre and what a blessing that was! To join together with 13 000 other Christians to praise God - it was a tiny taste of the glories of heaven.

This evening I went for my walk. This week I aim to do an hour of walking, about 5 km, six days out of seven, either walking home from work or doing a round of the indoor walkways and staircases downtown. I'll increase the distance one km per week for the next month and then two km per week after that. By the end of March I'll be able to do 24 km per day which is my goal. Here's an example of where I will be hiking. It is referred to as the "Jurassic Coast" due to the abundance of fossils.



At one point of my trip today I passed a group of teenage girls talking and laughing and cursing and I was seized with contempt. "Geez, don't you guys have anything better to do? Get a life!" was the gist of my thoughts. Very quickly the Spirit came to bear. The only reason I have goals and purpose in my life is the shed blood of Christ and apart from Him I am in the same boat as those girls. He is the reason I have a trip to England to look forward to and to prepare for. John Piper puts it this way:

"Everything good, and everything bad that God turns for the good of his redeemed children - was purchased by the death of Christ for us. We simply take life and breath and health and friends and everything for granted. We think it is ours by right. But the fact is that it is not ours by right...every breath we take, every time our heart beats, every day that the sun rises, every moment we see with our eyes or hear with our ears or speak with our mouths or walk with our legs is, for now, a free and undeserved gift to sinners who deserve only judgment." (Don't Waste Your Life, 51,52)

So that's something I need to pray about. That God will change my heart. Help me to be more grateful for His manifold blessings on me. And to be more gracious in my thinking regarding unbelievers because there but for the grace of God go I. "Far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Galatians 6:14).

Finding More of What I'm Looking For

Just got back from another long walk. I've only been at this training for a short time but so far I'm sticking to it for one simple reason - I don't want to keel over from exhaustion on the trail! I'm planning a backpacking trip to England this spring along the rugged south coast and I need to be prepared. By the end of March I aim to be able to walk 24 km carrying a twenty pound pack in a day. I'll know I can do that when I can walk from my apartment downtown to the Perimeter highway and back!

For the most part my mind just wandered as I walked but on the way back I started praying. I find that physical activity whilst I talk to God is a good combination for me. I've been flipping through a book of mine lately called "Don't Waste Your Life", by John Piper. His thesis is this: "You have one life. That's all. You were made for God. Don't waste it." He talks about how God created us for His glory, to spend our lives knowing and enjoying Him and displaying His glory to others. And he laments how so many Christians live as though being entertained and comfortable is the greatest goal of life.

This idea of there being more to life has been with me for many years and I find myself wanting more. Not more experiences or more stuff or more money. More God. I want my life to mean more. To have greater purpose. To have higher standards and deeper desires, broader dreams and greater joy. God has already revealed Himself to me to be more than I have imagined. That's the path He's put me on and I'm eager to go further down it. This trip to England is not an "Eat, Pray, Love" experiement. I don't need to find myself; I already know who I am. More importantly I know whose I am. What I want to know is more of this God to whom I belong and how I can better serve Him. I fervently do not want to stand before Him when I die and know that I wasted my life. This trip is but an extension of this learning curve that began long ago. It is a particular expression of God's will for my life. And I can't wait!