Move it, move it!

I just attended an aerobics class today, my first one in many years. I'm not in great shape but I was able to keep up for most of it and afterward felt good in my body, albeit rather tired.

Genesis chapter one tells us that God created humanity in His image and its clear from the design of our bodies that God intended us to be creatures that move. I took up salsa dancing a few years ago and one of the things I like about it is the fact that it's energetic. You can get a good workout from a few hours on the dance floor and have a great time too!

I'm so glad that God designed us to be active and that getting active would make us feel good - that tells me that God loves pleasure and loves giving the capacity for pleasure to His creatures. That's one thing I've noticed about following Jesus - the more I get to know Him, the greater my appreciation and awe for Him and the greater my capacity to enjoy Him.

Here's a video of what the human body it capable of:
http://youtu.be/jfSp5nMgq5I

I Need Thee Every Hour

I arrived in Calgary last weekend with both anticipation and concern as to what lies in store. On the one hand, I recently came through a great time of seeing God direct my steps during my trip to Europe, and have had numerous things fall into place for this move to Calgary.

But on the other hand, I'm not entirely certain as to my job hunting. The temptation is to worry and fret against God. You know, it's a good thing to have uncertainty. I'm finding the uncertainty is pushing me towards God: to spending time with Him and remembering His promises of care and guidance, to worshipping Him for His great love and righteousness - and in this I enjoy peace and renewed trust in Him.

Without these question marks I'm facing regarding the kind of job I will find or where I will live, I would have less motivation for focusing on God. Although it's great to have times of rest and stability and certainty, I have found it's the times of difficulty, when I'm surrounded with the unknown, that I draw near to Him.

"Blessed is the man who endures temptation for when he has been approved he will receive the crown of life" (James 1:12).

The Blessing of a Great Big Book

I am three weeks into my "slackerdom"! I visited the retirment home where I worked and told everyone I was enjoying being "retired"! My time has been spent on sewing projects, Bible memorization, visiting friends and running errands.

With regards to my trip, I have reserved a storage unit for all my things - the company offers a complimentary moving truck which is such a blessing for someone who does not even have a car. My father arrives on the 27th to help me move which is just over a week away - guess I can start counting down now, eh?

My memory project is going well. I'm into Ephesians chapter five now. What a great book this is! Paul talks a great deal about God's choosing of us for His kingdom, making peace with us through Jesus Christ, revealing His purposes to us, rooting us in His love. God does all the heavy lifting on our behalf!

Paul also talks about how God gives us spiritual gifts to build us up and help us to have a strong foundation and not be "tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine" (4:14). And He gives us a new nature so that we can live in "true righteousness and holiness" (4:24).

Of all the gods I could follow, I'm glad to belong to the One who has given a great big instruction manual for life! To have the whys and wherefores of life spelled out is such a blessing.

Something God has been impressing on me lately is the importance of being faithful in little things. Of not living life always "looking away to the future" and the potential "big works" God might have for me but focussing on being obedient and content in Him now. I'm getting better at living like that and I must say it's a peaceful, happy way to live. That "rejoice evermore, pray without ceasing and in everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" is such a simple command but it really works in keeping me positive and righteous. Granted my life is pretty stress free at the moment but the temptation to complain is always close by regardless of circumstances. I'm sure I'll have plenty of opportunity to test this verse thoroughly in the coming months!

One Week Down, a Bunch More to Go!

Well, it's been one week since I left my job. It's been good so far. I'm enjoying having extra time in the morning for devotions. I read my daily Oswald Chambers verse and commentary and then a Psalm. After some thought and prayer I work on my memory project. I've finished chapters one and two - it's gone well because they are familiar from previous memorizations. But I just don't know if I'll get to the end of the book by the end of the month. We'll see.

Next week I will be out of town for a few days visitng with a couple friends at their homes. I have a list of people I want to connect with before I leave so I've been calling and emailing around making dates!

Something that I've also enjoyed doing this week is sending notes to people. Just little encouragements and a verse, let them know I'm praying for them. I think we can all use a boost every now and then and who doesn't like an actual piece of snail mail in this day and age!

Three words that have been on my mind lately are "encourage", "edify" and "exhort". The idea of supporting people, building them up in their faith and urging them on to greater things resonates with me and I'd like to do that. I'm sure these thoughts are God's leading for me in helping me to see how to use my spiritual gifts. It's nice to discover a niche for myself.

Oh, and I've started work on some sewing tasks. Today I went to Fabricland and of course found some nice material to play with! This is what I created today:

Do Difficult Things

I am officially unemployed now. Today is my first day of slackerdom and so far so good. I went for a walk first thing in time to enjoy the beautiful colours of the sunrise. I had some tea and a biscuit - cookie to you but I need to get used to English English now eh! I went to the Forks and bought some shoes. And I started work on a new dress made from a sari I brought back from India in '08.

I have the entire month of March to myself. My father is driving out during the last week to help me pack and put my things into storage and we'll drive home to Thunder Bay on Thursday 31 March. That will give me a nice long visit with my parents before I fly to London on April 14.

I've been praying that I will not waste this month off work that I have. I do want to be productive and have a list of things to get done, many of which involve spending time with friends since I'm going to be gone for a while.

In church yesterday Pastor Todd preached on the topic of prayer. As Christians we can get complacent about our relationship with God and stop reaching for excellence and start thinking that we've gone as far as we can in the faith. Todd encouraged us to "do difficult things" because when we attempt things that are difficult we find that there is always more to know about Jesus and more excellence of character that can be had.

So this month I want to try something hard and that is memorization. I memorized a lot of scripture as a child but got out of it as an adult. But our minds cannot be renewed and our character shaped without God's word so it's important for us to "hide God's word in our heart." My goal for March is to memorize the book of Ephesians. I already have a good start on chapter one but there are six chapters in total so it will be hard. That's something you can pray about for me if you are so inclined!

Ok, time to get out of here - ta ta for now.

The Sweet Smell of Rejection

I have struggled in life with the idea of mattering. Has my life mattered? Has it had an impact? Has it contributed to God's kingdom in any meaningful way?

I have usually figured the answer was "no" or "not much". My idea of something that matters is something big like praying with a person to receive Christ. But what God has been teaching me is that He works mostly through little things. "A word in season, how good it is!" says the Proverb and that kind of thing - a word of encouragement, a small act of kindness - is what matters and is what God uses to build His kingdom.

I have toyed with the idea of becoming a college professor for a long time and last year things finally felt like they were in place and so I decided to apply to graduate school for a PhD in Theology. It felt right and I was confident that I would be accepted. I started calculating my financial assets and looking into scholarships and bursaries and preparing mentally for another big move.

When the letter came I was nervous to open it but I was not prepared for the word "unfortunately". I was not accepted? "How can this be? The timing is finally right. I'm ready to go. Wasn't this God's plan for me?"

It was a bit of a shock for me and I had a good cry. But God had been preparing me for that letdown. I had a time of worship later that day and instead of feeling devastated and confused when that door firmly shut in my face, I felt like a whole new world of possibilities was openingi up for me.

Shortly thereafter I went for lunch with one of my references, a professor of mine from seminary and I shared my reaction with him. At a function about a year later I saw him again and he said that he had told what I had shared to students as an example of the attitude to have when choosing a career. I was so enocuraged by that. I had figured my little episode was just something for me to grow from and here God intended to use it to help Christian young people in their journeys.

I need to stop underestimating God. He can use anything for His glory including things that hurt or don't make sense at the time. My job is to trust and obey and leave the rest to Him. It makes for a more interesting and peaceful journey.

The Upside of Sin

When Paul writes in Romans chapter seven about doing what he doesn't want to do and not doing what he does want to, I relate. That chapter isn't about some carnal Christian - Paul was writing about himself. He was writing about the tension of being "redeemed but not quite" - as Christians we stand before God the Father clothed in Christ's righteousness but while we are still in the body we are still subject to the weakness of the flesh.

Sometimes that tension is maddening to me. This week I found myself struggling with the burden of the sin nature but because I am fallen, my frustrations got twisted and turned around and I got angry with God. "What's the point? Why do You let this go on? Your ways are stupid!" etc. etc.

That's a big reason why God doesn't restore a sinless nature in us while we are here on planet Earth - to keep us humble. I carried on with my anger all this week but eventually I had to get down on my knees and confess it as sin and ask for forgiveness. In the end, sin keeps me from getting a big head from all the intimacy with God and knowledge of spiritual truths. No matter how far along the path to maturity I go, I don't have anything to brag about because I'm thisclose to falling headlong into some rebellious nonsense.

I Wondered as I Wandered

I've done a lot of thinking about my adult life in the last few weeks. Many is the time I have despaired, feeling that my life has meandered with no rhyme or reason. I have had numerous interests that I have dabbled in to one extent or another but then my involvement dropped off. I have a number of talents and abilities but none have ever come to the forefront as a passion. My jobs have mostly been underwhelming in terms of satisfaction.

This all used to bother me greatly. "Why am I here? Why am I still on this earth?" I just felt like I was putting in time waiting to die. I wasn't suicidal, I just felt like I wasn't acheiving anything.

That is very hard in western culture. If you are not achieving or producing you are worthless. This thinking is even found in church. If I had a nickel for every appeal for volunteers I have heard, every admonition to "find your gift and use it", I would be rich.

Most of my adult life has felt like sitting in a chair. I have had chances to serve and do good with the talents and opportunities God has given me but I have never felt like I found a passion that has stuck with me. I yearn to find a ministry for God that uses the abilities I have, something I can get excited about.

But over the last 15 years I feel like doors have been resolutely shut on me. I have had some incidents of service but nothing along the lines of a significant ministry. This has bothered me because I have this deep sense that I am pleasing to God only when I am working for Him.

I think the "hemming in" that I have experienced over the years has actually been God's design. My belief that He saved me to get work out of me is wrong and is something that He wants to purge me of. So He has shut doors on me. Not because He thinks I'm incapable but because He has something better for me. Serving God is good but knowing God is best.

I have certainly had time to get to know God. This past year has been one where I've been literally shut up with Him. I moved into an apartment by myself last spring and stopped the ballroom dancing which had taken up so much of my time. I have had wonderful times of worship and painful times of discipline. It has not been a picnic. He has exposed garbage in my soul and exercised me again and again in the act of self-mortification. Submission to God is the hardest thing about being a Christian. The rebelliousness in me runs so deep - it's a constant struggle to master it.

As I look back over the years, what seemed to be fruitless wandering has actually turned out to be carefully orchestrated progress. I don't know what God has for me next but I know now, finally, that what has passed has not been in vain. I am sure that, as He has guided me in the past, so He will guide me in the future.

Evolution? The Fossils Say Something Else

Comedian Lewis Black does a bit where he mocks creationists by saying that when they talk about the earth being created he says “Fossils, fossils, fossils, fossils – I win!”

Really? The fossil evidence is that clear? What do expert in evolutionary theory have to say?

“That’s still one of the great mysteries and problems to be solved in vertebrate evolution, the origins and interrelationships of these early jawed fishes.”
~ Dr. John Long, palaeontologist and Head of Science at the Museum Victoria, Melbourne, Australia

“We have no fossil records of bats during the Cretaceous period. This means that we are only depending on speculation, when it [ bat evolution] started and what happened in that time.”
~ Dr. Joerg Haberstetzer of the Senckenberg Museum of Natural History in Frankfurt Germany, specializes in bat evolution

“We don’t have such material...There is not a time when we can find the missing link.”
~ Dr. Irina Koretsky, Palaeontologist and Research Associate, Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, specializes in seal and sea lion evolution

“We know only little about the evolution of pterosaurs. The ancestors are not known...When the pterosaurs first appear in the geological records, there were completely perfect.”
~ Dr Gunter Viohl, Curator of Jura Museum in Germany

“Wherever we try to put Tyrannosaurs in the phylogeny of the breaching history of the therapod dinosaurs, they have a long missing records. And we are going to find that record one of these days.”
~ Dr. Paul Sereno, Paleontologist and Professor at the University of Chicago

“We are certainly lacking information that ties together meat-eating dinosaurs and all the rest of the dinosaurs...We’ve got nothing there yet. There is a huge gap.”
~ Dr. Angela Milner, Palaeontologist and Head of Vertebrate Palaeontology, Natural History Museum of London

According to the experts, we don’t have evidence for the evolution of fish, bats, sea lions, seals, Pterosaurs and Tyrannosaurs. Uh, sorry Lewis.

*all quotations taken from “Evolution: The Grand Experiment” by Dr. Carl Werner

His Wonders

Yesterday we were greeted with beautiful hoarfrost decorating every tree twig - a real treat - one of my favourite things about winter. Today we got about 6 inches of snow which made driving extra fun what with the spinning tires and fender benders. I managed to get out and around without any mishaps!

I've been sick all week with a cold. Not so bad I've had to miss work but enough that I've not been out walking - just don't have the energy.

I only have four more weeks at Canoe Club and then I'm off for March. I plan to do some visiting out of town and to hammer down on the the physical prep. That walk down to the perimeter and back must be accomplished by March 31!

I have been enjoying several weeks of close fellowship with the Lord. He has been impressing on me the need to accept myself for who I am. To serve Him in the way that He made me, not get hung up thinking I need to do things that I'm just not cut out for. Ever since I was a young girl I wanted the gift of evangelism. I've always wanted to be a good verbal witness for Jesus and always felt bad that I wasn't too good at it. I can see now that, although witnessing is something that all Christians can do to some degree or another, it is not my spritual gift and I don't need to beat myself up that I'm not strong in that area. I'm better at writing and I can be a witness for Jesus in that way. I still pray for God to give me opportunities to speak for Him. But I'm trying not to put so much pressure on myself in that.

One of the things I like best about Jesus is His ability to cure me of my hangups. I used to hate myself. I thought I was a mistake. Really. And now, after so many years of His ministrations to me I can truly say that I love myself. I can see now, finally, that He has given me a lovely personality and many gifts. He has crafted something beautiful and worthwhile in me and has freed me from my blindness to that. I'm so sorry that I ever despised His handiwork. God doesn't make junk - humans make junk and I made junk of myself for many years. I am so thankful that He has opened my eyes to His wonders in Creation - of the world and of me.

The Guts Declare the Glory of God

"In everything give thanks." This is a command I have not paid a lot of attention to but I'm thinking about it lately and obeying it more frequently these days. A thankful heart is a happy heart. It's soft and sensitive and easily led by the Holy Spirit. Unthankful hearts are hard and blind - they feel entitled to what they have yet also dissatisfied with it. It is wickedness on the part of us creatures to take God's manifold blessings in our lives for granted; to expect them as though they exist on their own rather than as things that depend on God's will.

For example: I have a perfectly designed, well-functioning digestive system. I have used it every day of my life and I don't think much about it. But it is a gift from God which He has given to me for now and which He can take away at any time. I'm noticing my internal systems these days and exressing thankfulness for them. Just by thinking about my own guts and viewing them as the gifts they are, I am more in awe of God's creative brilliance and His loving and generous nature.

I have overlooked this simple command most of my life and figured it didn't matter much. But this is God's will for me. My ability to discern God's will for me in matters that are not revealed (my life choices) depends on my decision to submit to Him and to obey in those which are revealed in His Word.

He Makes Me Want To

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

God's will for my life has not been revealed all at once as some grand plan but has come about through the shaping of my character and desires and the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

A few years ago I felt restless and bored with my job in student development at Booth College and wanted to try something new. Somehow I got the idea to get involved with Youth with a Mission (YWAM). I had some idea of that organization but not a lot. I don't even remember how I latched onto them in 2008 but I did. I wanted to go to a spanish speaking country as I had an interest in that language so I was all set to apply to a base in Columbia.

Then one night I went to the lounge where some students were watching a movie called "Bride & Prejudice". It's a bollywood-esque version of Jane Austen's famous book and I was so taken with the colours! It's a riot of song and dance and sumptuous Indian clothes. I had never before had an interest in going to India but after that night I wanted very much to go there. All my interest in going to Latin America evaporated, I applied to a base on the sub-continent and I ended up spending five months in that country.

I suppose a skeptic could understandably say that I just did what I wanted and they would be right. I went to India because I wanted to go there. But that is the beauty of God. He's brilliant actually. The easiest way to get people to do what you want is to make them want to do it too.

As a younng person I had this nasty idea that God didn't care about my happiness and that if I agreed to follow Him fully He would tell me to do things that I didn't want to do. But as I have spent time with Him, in prayer and in Bible reading and in worship, I have discovered that as I have delighted in Him, He has literally given me the desires of my heart. I didn't know that He wanted me in India so He gave me the desire to go there and then it was no problem for me to head off in that direction.

It is so cool for me to discover that God cares about my happiness and that He is working out His will in my life in ways that please me even though I don't always understand them at the time.

This is so TRUE!

"Cold Fact" by Dick Emmons

By the time he's suited
And scarved and booted
And mittened and capped
And zippered and snapped
And tucked and belted,
The snow has melted.

The Will of God for You

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you,” Philippians 3:12.

We have a natural tendency to look at our problems so God tells us to rejoice. Wallowing in gloom leaves us no room for the lightness of joy. But by focusing on His gracious provisions in our lives we find ourselves free from depression, bitterness and cynicism. Instead, we are able to see God’s blessings all around us and are thankful for them.

As we tend to be gloomy, so we tend to worry. Thus God commands us to pray continually. In our own strength the world is a scary place and life is hard. But in God’s strength we are secure and are provided with everything we need to please Him and be at peace. If we are continually bringing our problems to Him instead of stewing over them we are released from the heavy burden of those problems and are then free to rejoice in His sufficiency.

Our habit of worry leads us inevitably into complaining and so we are instructed to be thankful in all situations. By complaining we shrivel our spirits with bitterness, dissatisfaction and suspicion that we have been treated unfairly by God. But when we count our blessings, our spirits are lifted and encouraged with a deeper realization of His provision for us and we are spurred on to prayer confident that He can take care of our problems.

By making a habit of these three things we elevate our spirits and present God with minds that are prepared for His leading in every area of our lives.

Every Breath I Take I Take In You

Today I went to the "One Heart" multi-church service at the MTS Centre and what a blessing that was! To join together with 13 000 other Christians to praise God - it was a tiny taste of the glories of heaven.

This evening I went for my walk. This week I aim to do an hour of walking, about 5 km, six days out of seven, either walking home from work or doing a round of the indoor walkways and staircases downtown. I'll increase the distance one km per week for the next month and then two km per week after that. By the end of March I'll be able to do 24 km per day which is my goal. Here's an example of where I will be hiking. It is referred to as the "Jurassic Coast" due to the abundance of fossils.



At one point of my trip today I passed a group of teenage girls talking and laughing and cursing and I was seized with contempt. "Geez, don't you guys have anything better to do? Get a life!" was the gist of my thoughts. Very quickly the Spirit came to bear. The only reason I have goals and purpose in my life is the shed blood of Christ and apart from Him I am in the same boat as those girls. He is the reason I have a trip to England to look forward to and to prepare for. John Piper puts it this way:

"Everything good, and everything bad that God turns for the good of his redeemed children - was purchased by the death of Christ for us. We simply take life and breath and health and friends and everything for granted. We think it is ours by right. But the fact is that it is not ours by right...every breath we take, every time our heart beats, every day that the sun rises, every moment we see with our eyes or hear with our ears or speak with our mouths or walk with our legs is, for now, a free and undeserved gift to sinners who deserve only judgment." (Don't Waste Your Life, 51,52)

So that's something I need to pray about. That God will change my heart. Help me to be more grateful for His manifold blessings on me. And to be more gracious in my thinking regarding unbelievers because there but for the grace of God go I. "Far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Galatians 6:14).

Finding More of What I'm Looking For

Just got back from another long walk. I've only been at this training for a short time but so far I'm sticking to it for one simple reason - I don't want to keel over from exhaustion on the trail! I'm planning a backpacking trip to England this spring along the rugged south coast and I need to be prepared. By the end of March I aim to be able to walk 24 km carrying a twenty pound pack in a day. I'll know I can do that when I can walk from my apartment downtown to the Perimeter highway and back!

For the most part my mind just wandered as I walked but on the way back I started praying. I find that physical activity whilst I talk to God is a good combination for me. I've been flipping through a book of mine lately called "Don't Waste Your Life", by John Piper. His thesis is this: "You have one life. That's all. You were made for God. Don't waste it." He talks about how God created us for His glory, to spend our lives knowing and enjoying Him and displaying His glory to others. And he laments how so many Christians live as though being entertained and comfortable is the greatest goal of life.

This idea of there being more to life has been with me for many years and I find myself wanting more. Not more experiences or more stuff or more money. More God. I want my life to mean more. To have greater purpose. To have higher standards and deeper desires, broader dreams and greater joy. God has already revealed Himself to me to be more than I have imagined. That's the path He's put me on and I'm eager to go further down it. This trip to England is not an "Eat, Pray, Love" experiement. I don't need to find myself; I already know who I am. More importantly I know whose I am. What I want to know is more of this God to whom I belong and how I can better serve Him. I fervently do not want to stand before Him when I die and know that I wasted my life. This trip is but an extension of this learning curve that began long ago. It is a particular expression of God's will for my life. And I can't wait!